Arsene Wenger - My Fake Diary

Friday, 26 October 2012

What a cray-zeeeeeeeeeeeeeee week!

Beaten 1-0 at Norwich on saturday, criticized by environment groups for flying there instead of driving. The idea was to avoid all the plebs on the motorway.

My birthday on Monday, had a small party with Sven Gorran Errikson, Simon Cowell and David Walliams.

Walliams gave me a copy of his book 'Camp David' - oh well something to read in the toilet. Cowell gave me Sinitta's phone number - charming - he thinks I want his cast-offs! Sven was smiling like a cheshire cat, I thought he'd got himself another multi-million pound job with some rich Arab team but it turns out he's suing the Daily Mirror for phone-hacking! Wonder what celebrity gooner fan Piers Morgan has to say about that!!!

Wednesday - we lose at home to Schalke in the champions league! To borrow an English phrase - 'BLOODY GERMANS'
At least it wasn't on penalties.

Thursday - the Arsenal AGM. Great timing - NOT. I shifted anger from myself to the chairman with the line "I did not see zee chequebook" got a laugh as well - I could have been a comedian.

Friday - Preparing for our match against bottom of the table Queens Park Rangers after two straight defeats. They say these things come in threes - Mark Hughes teams always give us a physical battle but at least that plank Barton has been offloaded to Marseille - sympathies to my countryman but at least they can laugh at his mustache and ridiculous tweets!

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