Written by Gringo Lobos
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Wednesday, 23 August 2017

image for New Zealand silently invades Australia
Members of the New Zealand Mainland Annexation Party meet to celebrate the political takeover of Australian Politics

After years of planting double agent sleepers in the Australian government, the plans to invade appear to have succeeded.

With now 69 parliamentarians and senators being exposed has having dual Australian and New Zealand citizenship, they are making the final play in the diplomatic efforts to topple the elected Australian government. These 69 duly elected officials have abandoned all current political arrangements and are forming the New Zealand Mainland Annexation Party (NZMAP).

This has of course caused a huge diplomatic and political barney. The usual array of alarmists are saying this is against the Constitution and are taking to the high court to reverse the rout. However the new Zealanders are well ahead of them, placing NZMAP surrogates into the legal process to gum up the works. They have been able to leverage the natural confusion of antipodean hobbits and simply use their own bureaucracy against them. This bureaucracy is known as one of the most intractable and illogical forces on earth, only being eclipsed by the English Civil Service, who of course taught the down under blunderers everything they know about administrative constipation.

They are said to be preparing the official deposition to go to the Governor General to dissolve the current federal parliament and put the NZMAP in charge. Whilst this seems illogical that a foreign power can actually leverage the laws of another country to defeat itself is quite a remarkable feat. Even their opposition are congratulating them on a well played cunning plan.

However it remains to be seen what the domestic population will do in response, but if it is the usual reaction they will whine in social media, slag off at all the losers that let this happen and then slink back to the lounge to watch amateur reality TV porn.

Reporters in the streets strangely enough found the NZMAP actually had a good rap with the population. Many commented that they have given up on the Aussie no-hopers that are currently in place and hope this annexation cunning is a sign of progressive public governance by NZMAP.

When the truly charismatic Aussie leader, Malcolm WhatsHisName threatened military response the NZ government, they broke out in laughter. After years of successive "pork barreling" the entire military forces have 2 jeeps, 3 light planes and a gun or 2, but no bullets and as such are not considered a threat to anyone except themselves. They do however have huge 6 star meeting rooms despite paying for them depleting the fighting forces, so they will try to outmeet them to win back territory.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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