Written by Red.S.Crotum
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Friday, 18 August 2017

Australian Minister for Foreign Affairs, Julie Bishop, has announced that the Australian government plans to introduce a Gay Apartheid policy at Christmas. A senior minister in the ruling Liberal-Nazis-And-Trickle-Down-Christian-Pedophiles-And-Wife-Beaters-For-Rich-Bastards party, Bishop explained the policy today from her table at Attica's restaurant in Melbourne where she was enjoying a taxpayer-funded, $800 a head team-building, nouveau-cuisine, open-mini-sandwich, couscous and Dom Perignon champagne lunch.

"Ew yes, we Australians are different. Our gay citizens are gayer than most gay people. They think they're equal, even. Ew yes, things are getting out of hand. Next thing you know gay people will start selectively breeding more gay people. Before you know it, all heterosexual Australians will be wiped out."

Reacting to her recent discovery that New Zealand was planning to invade Australia, Julie lays the blame for that fairly and squarely on the shoulders of New Zealand gays. "Ew yes, it's becoming apparent there is an international conspiracy of gays. Their aims are clear: to take over western democracies and convert every man, woman, child, politician and even the Royal Family to homosexuality."

Bishop reacted strongly to a journalist's question linking the introduction of Gay Apartheid to the imminent national plebiscite on same-sex marriage. "We reject that. Our party gave women the vote in 1995 after they threatened to stop cooking dinner. Our party gave indigenous people equal rights to live in poverty in 2016. We will ask the people of Australia if gays should be allowed to marry. But no matter what they say, we have to move fast to stop the gays taking over this country and destroying our values and controlling our banks, security forces and footie teams".

Stopping to refill her champagne glass and wipe some smoked salmon from her Prada fine silk blouse and string of Marie Antoinette-Barbara Hutton pearls, Ms Bishop concluded her press conference by explaining how the new policy will work. "From 2018, gay people will no longer be able to ride on the same buses as heterosexuals, to eat in the same restaurants, to live next door to heterosexuals, vote or to own businesses. Ew yes, all gays will be sent to our resettlement camps on Manus Island where they can share the facilities with the illegal immigrants we have deported there for many years. Those tents are nice and breezy and ideal for gay people. They will be able to work for food and basic necessities".

International condemnation of the new policy was swift although President Trump has yet to comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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