Written by Frankie The J
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Saturday, 1 August 2009

image for Neanderthal cave paintings discovered inside Pelosi's vagina
US House Speaker Nancy Pelosi

Surgeons operating to remove Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid's tongue from House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's vagina discovered more than 200 Neanderthal cave paintings decorating the walls of the rarely used organ. Anthropologists from the Smithsonian Institution were dispatched to the California Democrat's Georgetown apartment to make preliminary surveys of Pelosi's nookery prior to commencing excavations during this summer's digging season.

"We are truly excited over this remarkable discovery," said archeologist Ron Paul XVI. "I will lead an expedition of more than thirty scientists deep into her love tunnel," he said. Hundreds of tons of supplies have been airlifted to Pelosi's sick bed. "We'll be camping inside throughout the summer, maybe even longer," said Paul.

The interdisciplinary scientific team will include French art anthropologist, Claude Monet. Monet spent most of his professional life studying the Paleolithic cave paintings discovered in 1940 at Lascaux, France. Speaking through an interpreter, Monet told TheSpoof.com, "There are few instances of Neanderthal cave paintings outside the near East and Europe. If this US find is authenticated, it will rock the very foundations of the anthropological discipline."

Famed Paleontologist, Jack Horner, will be along for the expedition. "I'm coming because Nancy Pelosi is, obviously, a fossil," he explained. "I do know the team will be using pussy penetrating radar in attempt to find the first known example of Neanderthal burial rituals on the American continent. If animal fossils are dug up, I'll be there to examine and classify them," Horner said.

The Senate Majority Leader has been conspicuously quiet throughout the hubbub regarding the discovery. Democratic Senator Jay Rockefeller (WV) told reporters, "Of course he hasn't said anything as of yet. He lost his tongue in that snapper, you morons."

Most Washington insiders believe Reid's tongue mistook Pelosi's snatch for her asshole. "He's had his tongue up her ass a thousand times before without incident," claimed a unknown, liberal blogger.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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