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Local Hospital Opens Another Shitty Food Court

Funny story: Local Hospital Opens Another Shitty Food Court

Local Hospital, Last Resort Methodist, has opened its second food court in an effort to get more patients into the hospital. “The first food court didn’t have enough disease in their food. This time, with options like McFryBird and Lard Cow, we’r...

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Hospitals to NOT heat-sanitize plumbing drains to avoid super-bug breeding

Funny story: Hospitals to NOT heat-sanitize plumbing drains to avoid super-bug breeding

Bethesda, Maryland - The National Institute of Health has found out how super-bugs are created by hospitals. It’s very simple. Sick people’s bodily fluids are sent down plumbing drains where they meet up with anti-biotics. All the non-super germs ar...

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Donald Trump Checkup Said to Reveal He Is Overweight Asshole

Funny story: Donald Trump Checkup Said to Reveal He Is Overweight Asshole

New York - Donald J. Trump released on Wednesday the results from his most recent physical examination, revealing that he is overweight, takes a statin for cholesterol, and is an asshole. Although Mr. Trump's weight has been a source of debate, wi...

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GPs to cut consultation fees

The newly elected head of the Australian Medical Association (AMA), Dr James Gibbon, has announced that from next week, General Practitioners (GPs) will cut their consultation fees to $10. This is a cut of about $70 in the cost of the average ten-m...

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Pro Golfer Erik Compton Gets A Quick Liver Switch

Funny story: Pro Golfer Erik Compton Gets A Quick Liver Switch

Dallas, TX - Our man, Chip Fairway, is out on the long lonely pro golf trail, where it's Texas Swing time on the PGA Tour. Along the way, he has uncovered the tale of a man who has seen some adversity on his way to becoming a pro golf journey man. Er...

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Hemorrhoid Piercings: The Deadly Trend Sweeping America!

Funny story: Hemorrhoid Piercings: The Deadly Trend Sweeping America!

Los Angeles, CA - Humans, much like gorillas: are interested, influenced, and educated by viewing recordings of their own species copulating on monitors. Humans love pornography and it influences the sex practices they engage in. Unless the last porn...

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Conjoined Twins Come Clean

Funny story: Conjoined Twins Come Clean

Fort Wayne, IN: Mindi and Bindy rose to fame 5 years ago after the biography and accompanying documentary (Eye to Eye; The Only Way to See It) gave hope to millions of able bodied people who realized how much worse their lives could be. In the expose...

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Worlds First Hermaphrodite To Get Double Sex Change

Funny story: Worlds First Hermaphrodite To Get Double Sex Change

Stockholm Sweden: A 16 year old with ambiguous genitalia has been allowed to undergo a "double sex change" operation. According to the doctors the parents couldn't be more proud of their child. They see "he and she" (soon to be she and he) as a t...

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Psychoanalyst and Ophthalmologist Beat the Hell out of Each Other On Elevator

Funny story: Psychoanalyst and Ophthalmologist Beat the Hell out of Each Other On Elevator

Los Angeles, CA-So an ophthalmologist and a psychoanalyst get on an elevator... This may sound like the start of a great joke, but in actuality it was the beginning of a terrifying descent into unprofessional chaos. Jorge Valdez, a once highly res...

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Normal Drug Being Tested on Patients

After rigorous studies at Columbian University, scholars have determined that most Americans need the drug Itsinurhedicone, or more commonly known to consumers as "Normal." Although the mind altering drug is frowned upon by many moralists, Doctor...

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Health officials warn "Toblerone in a fridge" is a lethal weapon

Funny story: Health officials warn "Toblerone in a fridge" is a lethal weapon

Top health officials have issued a warning to people not to put Toblerones in a fridge. They state that when the triangular chocolate bar becomes cold and hard it can become a "lethal weapon capable of damaging members of the public and even buildin...

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Doctors Can Choose To See Only Healthy People Under New Agreement

Funny story: Doctors Can Choose To See Only Healthy People Under New Agreement

Following recent reports which incited outrage when it was revealed that doctors were opting out of working unsociable hours, new proposals have been passed that allow them the option of not having to see patients at all. Under the new scheme doct...

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Scientists discover death could actually be good for your health

Funny story: Scientists discover death could actually be good for your health

Scientists at the university of Stockholm have revealed that dying could actually have substantial health benefits for your body. Previously experts felt that when a person expires there were no advantages and that life simply ended, however that has...

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Cure For Cancer Discovered: "Amazingly simple" Says Researcher

Funny story: Cure For Cancer Discovered: "Amazingly simple" Says Researcher

Orono, Maine - Medical researchers at the University of Maine have discovered the long-sought cure for cancer. According to lead researcher Dr. Emma Kingston, the cure was so amazingly simple, they don't understand how someone didn't find it before...

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Invincible Medical Prodigies

Funny story: Invincible Medical Prodigies

TEMPE, AZ-With voices articulating sounds quickly and clearly, medical physicians from around the country came together to Tempe Arizona to announce their new, allegedly brilliant method of perfecting an approach to diagnostic medicine. These vigorous doctors are coming up with profound ways to make the industry more efficient by simply raising their number of patients. If doctors can increase cli...

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The Doctor Will See You Now

Funny story: The Doctor Will See You Now

The most noble doctor of good standing and wealth you should see once a month if you're in bad health. He'll knock out the lights and just in one word instantly removes your vision with worms. He'll put you in a trance make you water his plants and whilst operating he'll play music and dance. All manner of disorders including head and the brain are dealt with quite easily in excruciating pain.

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Penicillin Ineffective For Computer Virus

Funny story: Penicillin Ineffective For Computer Virus

Silicon Valley - Despite its well-known effectiveness against some viral diseases such as syphilis and bacterial infections caused by staphylococci and streptococci, Penicillin is completely ineffective against computer viral infections. This fa...

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Sarah Palin introduces Tea Party's healthcare package

Funny story: Sarah Palin introduces Tea Party's healthcare package

Nome, Alaska - The Republican Tea Party can no longer be accused of not having an alternative to Obama Care, according to presidential contender Sarah Palin. The former Alaska governor this week introduced the party's SAD program, an acronym tha...

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The Queen Takes A Knee

The Queen of England takes a knee in front of Trump during the playing of the Stars Spangle Banner, joining the protest.
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