America is as usual enduring its daily dose of embarrassment, this time its turned bloody personal.
Everyone knows his tiny hands have been struggling to trying to keep up with Trumps exploding pubescent emotions. The reviled disgust is all too familiar now another cycle of petty squabbling when people have probably got better things to do is the stuff of the new greater America.
Further research by scientists indicated it may be a dementia psycho-motor skill interrupt between the neo-cortex and the finger control nervous impulses. They think that the tiny hands are getting synaptically overloaded and with signalling clutter incoherent grammar is the outcome. For example where the president means to say lets focus on the issues and is signaled by the brain but instead when it gets to tiny hands it turns into I am the greatest man alive ever in the whole history of the world and I am winning so much and you are all pawns in my psychotic game of world domination He may not actually mean to say such demented things but once it gets to his tiny disconnected hands the typing just goes all awry. Scientist have only just recently concluded clinical studies about tiny hands and found a high co-relation between excessive teenage masturbation and tiny hands.
Republicans appears unfazed by the latest diminution of the office of the president. They have politely suggested that the whitehouse organize some schoolyard bully mentoring. Their hope is he can direct his torments more successfully so that it will camouflage their quiet dismantling of democracy in the background. "Whilst we appreciate the smokescreen", claims McConnell "we need the camouflage to be more politically correct so we can scam all these gummy bears that voted us in without them figuring it out until after the mid-terms. Whilst the wailing of outrage from all the snowflakes is really helpful eating up news cycles and allows us to do all our dirty backroom deals in the shadows, if it goes too far it undoes all his good work.