Written by matwil
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Thursday, 22 May 2008

The results of the BBC's Worst 10 Eurovision Songs vote was announced today, and here is the list.

  1. 'La la la la la', by Sweden's The Bjeardies.
  2. 'Oompa Oompa, Ra Ra Ra', by Switzerland's Christine Dior.
  3. 'Death To Turkish Cyprus', by Greece's Bubble and Squeaks.
  4. 'Why Are We In A European Contest?', by Israel's The Mother-In-Laws.
  5. 'Heil Heidi Heidi', by Germany's The Goosesteppers In Dodgy Uniforms.
  6. 'We'll Never Surrender', by France's Jean-Marie le Pain.
  7. 'I Don't Adore My Mama', by Italy's Three Sarcasticos.
  8. 'Who Won The War Anyway?!', by Britain's Cliff Pilchard.
  9. 'What Gold?', by Switzerland's The Merchant Bankers.
  10. 'Nil Points Again', by Spain's Ridiculosa Histerjia.

Other songs nominated include :

  • 'Oh Bosnians, How We Love You', by Serbia's D. Eath Squodka,
  • 'Germany, Our One True Friend', by Poland's Zbigniev Brzkysszyzskkovsky, and
  • 'A Warm Welcome To Our Beloved English Neighbours', by Ireland's Michael Flatfoot, with his backing band, The Sinn Feiners.

The Eurovision Song Contest has been running for over 50 years now, and has produced many stars, such as The Silly Wee Girls, Sandy Snore, Bucks Lack-Of-Fizz, and The Brotherhood of Mangling, but it's most famous winner is surely George 'Sinatra' Bush, who won it twice. His hits, 'I Can't Stand Up For Falling Down', and 'Yes, Daddy, Can I Go Out And Play Now?' sold millions, but George is taking no credit for this. 'Heck', he said, hooking his drive into the trees, 'it was that Beatle that wrote them, you know, John Lemon. I just sang them.'

And after his second victory, the traditional dual announcements in English and French became three, as a third language, Bushese, was added to the commentary.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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