Speaking from peace-loving Stockholm, Swedish singer and explosives manufacturer Benny Bjeardie, of Abba, made a surprising claim about the state of Israel.
Taking a swig of 100% proof aquavit, he said: 'Mamma mia ,what's the name of the game?'
To groans from weary journalists, he added:
'Israel is an abominable wart on the face of mankind, a revolting pus-ridden and disgraceful place, full of evil mass-murdurers - OK, it's a bit like the Swedish Nazi party was in the 1930s.
'But when the Israelis brought out 'Knowing Me, Knowing You', it was too much - the international community must make Israel stop bringing out such dreadul songs.'
A spokesman for the Palestinians, after playing a tune on his bagpipes, that sounded like a demented hamster, said: 'Yes, when will the world come to our aid, and shoot those Swedish warsong criminals?'
But a spokesbicycle for the Israeli Government made this comment: 'The Swedes have a right to bring out unbelievably bad music, and have unbelievably bad beards, but just let us get on with winning the Eurovision Trash Contest.'
And speaking from where he got lost in a Saudi Arabian desert, a sunburnt George 'Shootabba' Bush added: 'Where is Abba? And where is Laura?'
Cliff Pilchard, who successfully didn't win the Contest in 1823, said: 'Not even my output has ever scraped the barrel like Abba's tripe.'
And another singer, Luther Dross, said: 'Hey, the day Americans stop funding the Israeli song industry is the day I buy some Slimfast.'
Barry White was on holiday in the Gaza.