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Big Ben's Bong entered as UK Eurovision song for 2017!

Funny story: Big Ben's Bong entered as UK Eurovision song for 2017!

After being analysed by lasers, scientists have offered the "Big Ben Bong" to be England's representative in this year's Eurovision Travesty! Theresa May is enthusiastic about the "Bong Song" representing the UK in Europe's Nr 1 horrific festival...

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Eurovision Song Contest banned for health reasons!

Funny story: Eurovision Song Contest banned for health reasons!

The annual dodo show that sweeps the feet of millions in Europe away has been banned (There is a God after all)! The organisers, EBU, have admitted the terrible music, groups, singers and transvestites participating are a health hazard to those milli...

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UK Eurovision entry bids to become first song to score minus points

Funny story: UK Eurovision entry bids to become first song to score minus points

With only a day to go until the final, UK entry Evacuated Bowel say that they want to go one better than the last few dismal efforts and actually register a negative score. Their song, 'I Want Your Ear Wax All Over Me', is an up-beat reggae song that...

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Unknown nose-picker picked for Eurovision

A virtually unknown man from the North was unveiled last night as Britain's Eurovision contestant. "His musical talent is not necessarily of the highest standard," said a BBC TV spokesman, "but he is likely to win viewers over by his unique style...

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The Beatles to reform for the next Eurovision

Funny story: The Beatles to reform for the next Eurovision

The UK's Eurovision Committee, chaired by Sebastian Coe, have employed the services of Sir Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr and a black magician by the name of Alistair Darling for next year's Eurovision contest entry for the UK. "Darling will employ t...

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Swedish firms in bidding war for Loreen's Euphoria

Funny story: Swedish firms in bidding war for Loreen's Euphoria

Eurovision winner, Loreen, is at the centre of a bidding war for the use of his Eurovision winning, chart-topping song Euphoria. Loreen won the competition for Sweden, and now Ikea and Volvo are both after using the song in their latest advertising c...

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Eurovision Riot Shame

Funny story: Eurovision Riot Shame

Rioting fans have once again wreaked havoc in Europe after the weekends Eurovision song contest won by Sweden. In London, angry and rampaging fans, immediately after the result was announced, hurled bottles at police and overturned cars in Trafalg...

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One Direction lined up for the 2013 Eurovision song contest

Funny story: One Direction lined up for the 2013 Eurovision song contest

Reality Show Pop Stars, One Direction, have been lined up to represent the UK in the 2013 Eurovision Song Contest. "We had to act fast," said Sebastian Coe, who has been appointed to make sure that Britain win in 2013 after several years of abject...

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Engelbert Humperdinck reveals why he did the Eurovision Song Contest

Funny story: Engelbert Humperdinck reveals why he did the Eurovision Song Contest

Having been beaten by twenty-four of the twenty-six countries taking part in the 2012 Eurovision song contest Engelbert Humperdinck has revealed why he agreed to take part. The Hump, as he is affectionately known by his Spine Osteopath, managed a...

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Swedish Eurovision Song Contest Winner Has "A Big Head And Suspiciously Large Hands" Says Anne Shuttlecock

Funny story: Swedish Eurovision Song Contest Winner Has "A Big Head And Suspiciously Large Hands" Says Anne Shuttlecock

Long suffering wife of local idiot, Martin Shuttlecock - the lovely Anne - today stated unequivocally that she's had a really shit day. "It all started in the early hours, when my silly bastard of a husband woke me up at about four thirty am deman...

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Protesters target Eurovision Song Contest

Funny story: Protesters target Eurovision Song Contest

Protesters disrupted the preparations for the Eurovision Song Contest earlier today when large groups of human rights campaigners demanded that Jedward be removed from the competition. Brothers John and Edward Grimes, known for their blonde quiffs...

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Eurovision song contest will be won by a mime act

Funny story: Eurovision song contest will be won by a mime act

It was calculated that the Eurovision Song Contest for 2012 would be won by Sweden due to the way countries vote for each other. The mathematical formula for calculating the winner is freely available, and has correctly predicted seven of the last fi...

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Journalists Beaten Up? Does Them Good, Says Respected Reporter

Funny story: Journalists Beaten Up? Does Them Good, Says Respected Reporter

A world-famous newspaper journalist wants to know what all the fuss is about when journalists are beaten up by autocratic regimes. His controversial views follow criticism of corporate authorities in Azerbaijan as it gears up to host the Eurovisio...

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Nottingham Pensioner inspired by Henglebert Eumperdink's comeback!

Funny story: Nottingham Pensioner inspired by Henglebert Eumperdink's comeback!

Henglebert Eumperdink's return to sing in the Euro-vision Song Contest for England, has inspired a Nottingham pensioner, to form a musical group from within the Nottingham City Hospital Rehabilitation Group members. Manager and lead singer of the...

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Scotland independence bid to boost UK Eurovision Song Contest hopes

Funny story: Scotland independence bid to boost UK Eurovision Song Contest hopes

Scotland's bid for independence from the UK was claimed to be a 'scam' last night by a music business insider. The insider who refused to be named said that the plan is for Scotland to get independence, eventually followed by Wales and Northern Ir...

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Pan-European Television Channel to be Launched

Funny story: Pan-European Television Channel to be Launched

A Europe-wide TV channel is to be launched next week, featuring the very best in European interest programming. The channel, to be called EURO-TV, will do its best to avoid the problems encountered by similar now-defunct channels. Those problems were largely caused by the multilingual nature of Europe. EURO-TV will try to avoid these by not broadcasting any speech. Entertainment will be provid...

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Eurovision crisis continues: Britain isolated

Funny story: Eurovision crisis continues: Britain isolated

With only five months until the next Eurovision song contest is held in Azerbaijan, European countries are no closer to resolving the crisis which threatens the existence of the contest itself. There is not enough money to stage the competition, and...

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German Protest Movement Grows

Funny story: German Protest Movement Grows

As the European debt crisis worsens and Germany faces growing calls to increase its contribution to 'bail out' funds and to return gold bullion stolen from Greece in 1941, there is a growing tide of anger and resentment amongst German people. The...

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