(Neuters) In the last half an hour it has come to light that the Chinese government were field testing their military's latest weapon, this is where the whole Chinese population farts at the same time.
The intended target according to to the aide to General Zsu Le-won Oof was the west coast of the United States, where a mass fart could blow the east coast of the USA into the rocky mountains, but in one huge blunder baked beans were supplied to the people deployed instead of Brussels sprouts and cabbage and a 6 billion person mass fart occurred but only in stages.
The devastation caused was enormous the amount of building blown down was catastrophic and the sound waves created caused an earthquake which was 7.8 on the Richter scale. "I could take the fact that we made a mistake and caused the deaths of 15,000 innocent Chinese but to cause a mass mis-timed fart and wipe out 250,000 Burmese in a 'anal blast cyclone' was more than I could take" said aide Wu Stu Blewer.
The Burmese ambassador Ju Unta said that the reason that foreign aid was not allowed to enter the country was due to the smell. "We do not want foreigners to think that we Burmese are a smelly bunch of poor people," he said. "When the stink clears we will allow aid into the country to help clear the dead".