Written by XRhonda Speaks
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Topics: Pollution, EPA, industry

Friday, 21 April 2017

image for US Industries to Take Over EPA
Emissions like these will soon be self regulated by the companies that create them.

Now that a dozen or more large US corporations will operate the newly privatized EPA, the future of US industry looks a lot brighter--even as the skies darken from the increased pollution.

Scott Pruitt, token head of the EPA, and Monsaton CEO, Nick Neo, gave a joint news conference inside with filtered air conditioning at the company's headquarters in Gnaroak, West Virginia.

Pruitt touted the savings for US taxpayers that will be created by privatizing the EPA.

"We'll be eliminating expensive regulatory delays and procedures that increase costs to the consumer."

"But I really want to tell you about another exciting synergy that has been created with one of the companies we've partnered with, and that is the use of new pesticides such as BorderPatrol™. The US Border Agency has been spraying illegal aliens with weedkillers like BorderPatrol™, and the effect is tremendous: Illegals that are not outright dispatched from exposure to these pesticides get homesick and return to their countries of origin within six months."

Consumer advocate Ralph Nader had some harsh words about the use of pesticides on illegal immigrants when he spoke to MS-NBC's Richard Stone.

"First, the cruelty of this spraying policy hearkens back to the Vietnam War era when we poisoned entire villages and ecosystems with Agent Orange. But this strategy can't work forever and we are already seeing Roundup resistance in some Mexican and Venezuelan immigrants."

"The claim that sick illegals who have been sprayed with BorderPatrol™ eventually go home is just not true: Ninety percent of undocumented immigrants sickened by pesticides from the US Border Patrol Agency will actually end up being treated in the US at US taxpayer expense. Their orphans, many of whom are US citizens, will also end up being taken care of at taxpayer expense."

As the Trump administration accelerates the privatization of large sectors of the US government, the president's next stated objective is to spin-off the Department of Energy to Exxon or the Chinese investment firm Yantai Xinchao.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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