EDISON, NJ - A thirteen year old female student at H. R. Clinton Junior High was expelled yesterday when a teacher overheard her praying loudly during a Wildcats football game. The young student was unceremoniously escorted away from the stadium and...
MINNEAPOLIS, Mn -President George W. Bush made the fourth stop on his People's Republican Party Book Burning tour today at the New Berlin Convention Center in Minneapolis, among thousands of supporters. In the past three cities, the Presid...
EL SEGUNDO, Ca - In a not-so-surprising move, Mattel executives unanimously rejected their marketing department's latest submission: Suicide Bomber Barbie. "This would surely become a political hot-potato," explained June Cabrini, Executi...
HOLLYWOOD, Ca -- When Mike Myers called John Kerry and offered him a spot in his next Austin Powers movie, Kerry assumed it was going to be a cameo role. Little did he know that Myers and director Jay Roach had their eyes on Kerry for the lead role.
CRAWFORD, Tx - Crawford police released information today regarding an arrest made during the outdoor showing of Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11 on July 27th. A man claiming to be President Bush apparently stormed through barriers enclosing the outd...
ESTES PARK, Co - In what paramedics called a ‘freak accident', tourist Ben Miller lost his penis in a bear trap at an Estes Park souvenir shop. Miller, a 39 year old draftsman from Orlando, Florida, and his family were visiting the Big Thompson Rive...
BATHESDA, Md - Dr. Jamal Kuweeza, long-time surgeon at the Bethesda Naval Hospital, was arrested Sunday for suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol. During the investigation, police found a portfolio containing photos and papers pert...
DUMAS, Tx - James McBride, a 14 year old amateur astronomer from Dumas, Texas, has captured a stunning image of a four-nebula cluster he has nicknamed "Face of God." The Texas panhandle resident captured the image using nothing more than a disposabl...
AUSTIN, Tx - Kevin Rollins, the newly appointed CEO of Dell, Inc., has reportedly been taken hostage by a group of displaced Dell technical support representatives just hours after his appointment. Following the annual stockholders' meeting Friday,...
WASHINGTON - Matt Drudge's ‘The Drudge Report' has long been hailed by right-wing conservatives as the definitive source for dirt on their liberal Democrat adversaries. With the release of ‘Fahrenheit 9/11', controversial film director Michael M...
HERSHEY, PA - In a bold move today, The Hershey Company - well-known chocolateer - released a line of controversial candies in an effort to appeal to potential customers who feel the run-of-the-mill Hershey Bar is just a little too boring.
SAN FRANCISCO - It seems that presumed Democratic presidential candidate, John Kerry, and his running mate, John Edwards aren't waiting for the honeymoon. In a rally near the San Francisco waterfront, the two Johns surprised supporters by engaging i...
WASHINGTON - Following the release of former President Bill Clinton's book, 'My Life', in June of this year, several watch-groups have reported a host of typographical errors. The book has enjoyed only marginal sales, despite the heavy m...
BAGHDAD, Iraq -- Saddam Hussein stepped into an Iraqi court on Thursday and entered a new chapter in Iraq's history, hearing preliminary charges against him that included the gassing of Kurds and the invasion of Kuwait.