Written by Rich Lather
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Topics: female

Thursday, 26 August 2004

image for Junior High Student Expelled for Praying During Football Game
Wildcats winning, unaware of the possible danger lurking nearby.

EDISON, NJ - A thirteen year old female student at H. R. Clinton Junior High was expelled yesterday when a teacher overheard her praying loudly during a Wildcats football game. The young student was unceremoniously escorted away from the stadium and instructed to wait for Principal Keesha Washington. Political Science teacher, Trish Malcolmson, relayed her account of the story to Washington who summarily expelled the young student, witnesses said.

Parents of the expelled student met with Principal Washington immediately upon hearing the news of their daughter's expulsion. "[The student's] father seemed very angry," recounted Kelly Dobson, office employee, "but I was surprised that they were only in [Principal Washington's] office for about ten minutes. When they came out, everyone was smiling and laughing."

Washington told reporters that the whole thing was just a misunderstanding. "After speaking with [the student's] parents, I've decided to reinstate [the student]," Washington explained. "They cleared the whole thing up. If [the female student] had been praying openly at a school function, she would have been in serious trouble. We have very strict rules against prayer in school."

"Although I commend the teacher for her alertness," Washington continued, "I was relieved to learn that, [the student] was not praying. What the teacher overheard was merely the young girl referencing a familiar deity while engaging in an undisclosed act with Dean Romano, the football coach."

The student's parents indicated that their daughter was ecstatic regarding her exoneration. "We were stunned when we heard that [our daughter] had actually prayed. We taught her better than that. Principal Washington was very understanding and let her come back to school when she found out [our daughter] was only consorting with the coach. Next time, she'll know better than to yell so loudly."

The students at Clinton Junior High expressed similar sentiment at having one of their favorite students back. "I always thought she was really cool," one eighth grader told reporters. "And now she's even cooler!" The young student who was once in trouble was last seen donning her Spongebob backpack and happily heading down the hallway to her third period class. With any luck, she won't miss any more periods due to this incident.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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