Written by Rich Lather
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Saturday, 14 December 2013

DETROIT (SP) - President Obama and an unidentified supporter were arrested yesterday for making terroristic threats in South Detroit. The President made an appearance in Detroit to get a firsthand look at the devastation due to decades of Democratic control, and to talk to local residents and business owners. It was during an encounter with one of the locals that the two were caught on camera allegedly making "finger guns."

Detroit Police witnessed the alleged offense and promptly arrested the President and the man, despite protests from surrounding supporters and Secret Service agents. Detroit Police Spokesperson, Delta Fawcett, later explained that the City of Detroit is working hard to battle the rampant crime that has ravaged their city, and they believe the eradication of guns is the first step. She added that Detroit has adopted a zero-tolerance policy on guns and gun-like objects; including offensive gestures, such as finger guns. Officer Fawcett stated that "a finger gun, in the hands of a civilian can be just as deadly as a real gun. If we allow our children to shoot each other with finger guns, they'll grow up to shoot each other with real guns. It saddens me to say that the President has set a dangerous example, and must face the consequences."

Many American cities have adopted similar policies in attempt to reduce the number of school shootings. Recently, an 8 year old Maryland boy was suspended for chewing his Pop Tart in to the shape of a gun. A similar occurrence took place in Florida where a young boy was suspended for pointing a deadly finger gun at another student.

White House spokesman, Jay Carney, later commented on the arrest, telling reporters that it was "just a big mix up," and the President has since been released and the charges dropped. Carney said the White House supports the zero tolerance policy, and agrees that finger guns and pizza can be just as deadly as real guns. "However," Carney qualified, "this is the President of the United States. It's not like he's a regular citizen. I think we can all agree that these laws were not written for Him." Mr. Carney declined to comment as to whether or not the other individual was released along with the President.

About a dozen protestors showed up at the Detroit City Jail to protest the release of President Obama. Many carried signs suggesting that "Laws apply to EVERYONE." The peaceful protestors were quickly dispersed with rubber bullets and tear gas prior to the arrival of the Presidential Limo.

President Obama was unavailable for comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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