CRAWFORD, Tx - Crawford police released information today regarding an arrest made during the outdoor showing of Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11 on July 27th. A man claiming to be President Bush apparently stormed through barriers enclosing the outdoor movie viewing area in a 2004 Ford Excursion. Police pulled the man, whom witnesses said somewhat resembled the President, from the vehicle and promptly arrested him.
The unidentified man put up quite a struggle, insisting that he was the President and had a right to be there. Police said the man was obviously delusional and had to be restrained by four officers. "He had the George W. Bush look down to a T," trooper Charles Collins told reporters. "Even down to the suit and tie; except he needed a shave and smelled like he had been drinking."
President Bush's family ranch is near the small Texas town of Crawford, Texas, where Michael Moore chose to show his controversial movie in an outdoor venue, free of charge. Although the President has a large following of supporters in the Crawford area, over 1,000 people showed up to watch Fahrenheit 9/11. Michael Moore was originally intended to attend the event, but later declined.
Once in the Crawford City Jail, the man claiming to be the President continued to proclaim his identity, police said. He apparently had a forged drivers license and other documents identifying him as George W. Bush, residing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. "He insisted that we call the Whitehouse to confirm his identity," explained Crawford Police Lt. Duke Hodges. "He was yelling for us to call Dick Cheney and Colin Powell, and threatened to have us all thrown in federal prison if we didn't let him out. The man is totally out there," Hodges continued.
Outside the jail, witnesses could hear the disturbed man's rants. "Call the Whitehouse! Call my Dad!" he'd yell. "Are you people [expletive deleted] morons? Dammit, Moore invited me!"
Lt. Hodges explained that because the man was portraying himself as the President, they were required to alert the Secret Service. "They were here within the hour," Hodges recalled. "They'll probably set him up for psychological evaluation and he'll get a nice padded cell somewhere. Either way, I don't think he'll be crashing anymore drive-in movies; especially not in Crawford."