The UK Labour Party has added a late runner in the race for its new leader. A hitherto unknown staunch supporter of Labour and a "bezzy mate" of Adolf Corbyn (one of the other leadership hopefuls), Mr Kim Jong-un from North Korea has paid his £3 (...
In a move designed to make even more money from the hapless motorist, councils throughout the UK are to begin to prosecute motorists (and/or their passengers as appropriate) for making Nazi-style salutes. Hot on the heels of the recent exposé of t...
Named in honour of the Irish Punt, which sank without trace following Ireland's entry into the Euro exchange rate mechanism, a new chain of pound shops -"Puntland" - will be opening all over Ireland within months. However, Puntland will be very di...
The former Rohhhr-zeee from Coronation Street, Helen Flanagan, has been reported as being pregnant, and this reporter wishes her well and, at the appropriate moment, 9 months into her pregnancy, hopes she becomes the proud mother of a healthy and hap...
After 36 years, the Natural History Museum has decided to mothball Dappy the Dinosaur and make way for a new huge guest to greet visitors to the premises. From next year, a huge whale called Adele - often referred to as the fat computer in the Tho...
Hot on the heels of the Scottish Referendum, which makes a change from being hot on the heels of shoplifters from the Prospect Shopping Centre, Hull has declared that it is aiming to gain independence from the remainder of what's left of the UK. A...
Following a meeting with the lovely humane representatives of the "Iraq Suddenly It's Summer"(ISIS) campaign at a 6-star hotel in Qatar, Hamas, the internationally renown tunnel manufacturers have agreed to change their name in time for the 2014 Iran...
The winner of the 2014 series of "Britain's Got Talent" was announced tonight ahead of the live finals due to take place after the dreadful supermarket advertisements voiced-over by that booming chap who's not Brian Blessed. It was confirmed that...
A group of TV presenters, who wish to remain nameless due to the nefarious nature of their activities, have admitted that they all like small boys, with each trying to outdo the other in relation to amassing a collection of them. They were all arr...
The ousted manager of Manchester United, Chris Moyles, has openly admitted on a couch on some breakfast television programme that no one really watches, that he perhaps shouldn't have taken the manager's job at the Manchester united Football club in...
In a shock announcement by BARB, the UK Broadcasters' Audience Research Board, a viewer has allegedly found a programme worth watching on British television. Mona Lott, who lives in Penge, phoned into the organisation early yesterday prior to bein...
Details of the 2104 UK budget were released by the Government ahead of the Chancellor's statement. This is in an attempt to save people time and effort listening to the whole speech. The way income tax is collected will be changing. In an effort t...
In a move demonstrated to have more animation than the average commuter on a London Tube strike day, the Rail Maritime and Transport Union have presented a petition to Downing Street to declare the 27th of December "National Railway Replacement Bus S...
Prince Harry, fourth in line to the throne and sixth in line for the new iPhone 6 outside the Apple store in Oxford Street, has gone on official public record to say his Cressida is a fabulous ride. Now 24 years old, he states that his Cressida is...
In a development that has rocked the world of showbusiness, it was discovered at the weekend that Cheryl Cole's arse has a severe infestation of greenfly. The star, who for some strange reason had her rather beautiful posterior covered in the tat...
In a statement issued earlier today, Hiram Thicke, the agent for pop diva Miley Cyrus said the star attended hospital to have a handle inserted into the right side of her head. The star, who is the most followed and tweeted personality ever by bot...
At a press conference held in the Ballysmackadoo Town Hall, the Minister for Sport, Paddy Fields, together with a celebrity panel line up of Bono, Chris de Burgh, Van Morrison and the late President De Valera announced the venues and sport competitio...
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