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Saturday, 13 September 2014

image for Hull to get Independence Referendum and break away from the UK
The rather overweight politician who likes Chinese food and whose name can't be mentioned for legal reasons

Hot on the heels of the Scottish Referendum, which makes a change from being hot on the heels of shoplifters from the Prospect Shopping Centre, Hull has declared that it is aiming to gain independence from the remainder of what's left of the UK.

A rather overweight politician who likes Chinese food, is partial to Jaguar cars and whose name can't be mentioned for legal reasons said that as Hull has its own telephone system, it made sense that it should break-away from the UK and become independent.

He went on to say that they also have a lovely bridge and possibly the largest Pound Shop in the country, so were well-able to cope with independence.

And he also said that as they were on the way to having their own language - "book" is "buuhk" and "look" is "luurk", it made fiscal sense.

The rather overweight politician who likes Chinese food, is partial to Jaguar cars and whose name can't be mentioned for legal reasons concluded that he had been put in charge because as someone who knows absolutely nothing about anything, he was felt to be best-qualified for the job.

Plans for change are already well-advance, including:

* Its own currency - The Coronaryattack; there will be 10 Deepfrymarsbars to the Coronaryattack
* Working hours - to fit in with Europe, 10am to 4pm (on a Wednesday - the other days of the week have been declared a public holiday and DWP signing days)
* Its own national costume - striped blue track-suit bottom and non-matching grey or green hooded top
* Environmental policy. To save paper, books and newspapers are being banned, as it is felt no one in Hull will notice
* Libraries are being turned into Academies of Excellence for Shoplifting.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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