A group of TV presenters, who wish to remain nameless due to the nefarious nature of their activities, have admitted that they all like small boys, with each trying to outdo the other in relation to amassing a collection of them.
They were all arrested yesterday afternoon.
A spokesperson (an unshaven man dressed in a very loud shirt - more than that we can't say, except that he might have been involved as a producer of Top of the Pops. Oh, and he's in his early sixties) said they regularly used to leave the TV studios in London during the early 70's and head straight for Ramsgate or Margate in search of lost small boys they could take back home to caress and nurture.
Another member of the group, who also has to remain nameless, but he has a big, bushy moustache and likes to wear riding breeches, said that unfortunately, the group unjustly got a bad name because of a spelling error.
He went on to say:
"The reason we got a bad name was that groups like the Coastguard and RNLI used to object to us collecting small buoys.
"Oh. And that's the other problem. We used to get into trouble because working on programmes such as EastEnders, so many of the group didn't have to spell accurately because of the way the cast members mangled English, and it was actually "buoys" we collected and not "boys"."
The crunch came yesterday morning when the group of seven were seen hauling in buoys from the shallows off Margate pier. The police said that this was not only dangerous and against health and safety, but could cause a ferry to overturn, spilling all the illegal spirits and cigarettes people had bought cheaply in France, into the sea.