Yesterday several US presidential candidates released their plans to cure the nation's sick healthcare system. For decades politicians have grappled with the health care issue with few positive results, the proposals by the current crop of candid...
In a surprise move Late Show host, David Letterman has decided to retire and spend more time with his young son. CBS immediately announced Letterman would be replaced by George W Bush. Many Washington insiders are worried the additional work load w...
Barack Obama, a leading Democratic candidate for the 2008 presidential election, got a haircut today in Manchester, New Hampshire today.
Anchorage, Alaska - (Ass Mess): Senator Ted Stevens has spoken to the press for the first time about jacking off his Girdwood house from the ground in 2000, adding a new first storey and then replacing the old first floor on top:...
All performances of the London stage version of the Lord of the Rings will now include the ritual slaughter of a Hobbit in a bid to boost flagging ticket sales.
Reports on the wires this evening are talking of a sensational new book that's set to take the libraries and bookshops of the world by storm.
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - New York - Nathan Sawaya was a promising lawyer until the Bush administration reduced American business to absolutely nothing. Now he has to build everything out of LEGO blocks. In fact, everything in the room is made of LEGO...
President Bush announced today that the United States government would stop supplying troops in Iraq with Mine Resistant Ambush Protected (MRAP) vehicles and replace the entire fleet with 1960 standard Volkswagen Beetles, and transports made of cardb...
I'm moving to the U.K. In Norwich, several insurance claims have made news by declaring that numerous people are at the mercy of the animal kingdom: deer smashing kitchen windows, horses chewing cars, etc. My favorite is the woman who filed an insurance claim because her beloved hamster became so fraught with the idea of visiting the vet that he chewed through her handbag. It goes to show you...
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington - Communist hardliner George W. Bush welcomed Mikhail Khodorkovsky to the Capitol today and appointed him to the cabinet of his New World Order regime. President Bush said that he has admired Khodorkovsky for a long...
ALMONT TOWNSHIP, MICHIGAN (CIA TODAY) --A red stealthy F-22A Bomber glided low into the town of Almont Township today. The test target. WalMart Super Center at 555 E. Genesee Street. In its' payload an innovative...
Washington DC With international pressure growing on the US to reduce carbon emissions and streamline energy usage, a 5-year plan to maximise renewable energy sources was unveiled by senior White House spokesmen yesterday.
Wellington, New Zealand - (Ass Mess): A naked Britney billboard campaign promoting Sky Channel TV has been banned in New Zealand after a massive public outburst that the picture had been 'doctored' with a pair of hideous blue panties that deg...
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - London - After going to the doctor, Tony Blair found that he has AIDS. Upon hearing the news, George Bush requested $30 billion to fight the disease in his gay lover.
Langley, Virginia - (Ass Mess): Jailed US traitor Aldrich Ames recruited the poisoned ex-KGB turncoat spy Alexander Litvinenko who cooked his own goose by snorting over a gram of Plutonium-enriched cocaine last November and died horribly of radiation...
Portugal - (Rotters): Interpol officers say they are so stumped for information about the kidnapped four year old English child Madeleine McCann that they have consulted psychics, astrologers, mediums, visionaries and even the Pope's personal Tar...
Orlando, Florida - (Ass Mess): Warner Brothers' latest scam to perpetuate the JK Rowling authorship fraud of the Harry Potter titles has been unvieled in Orlando, Florida.
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