CCN (Crazy Cal News) - London - After going to the doctor, Tony Blair found that he has AIDS. Upon hearing the news, George Bush requested $30 billion to fight the disease in his gay lover.
Tony Blair commented, "This is DREADful news. Georgie and I were planning to get married next weekend. I just don't know WHAT we're going to do. I hope he doesn't change his mind."
President George Bush got on Air Force One and rushed to Tony's side.
"Don't worry Toni honey. I askt fer $30 Billion to fight this thing. We're gonna' whip this AIDs thing REEL GUD! Don't you worry about a thing. I'm still your man and I'll always be your man," said Bush to Blair.
The President said that his marriage to Blair would continue as planned. He said that soon he will declare Marshall Law in the U.S. so that he and Blair can have all the gay sex they want in the U.S.
"I'm gonna' legulize whips an' chains an' all that in the bedroom two! Nuthin' is gonna' stand in the way of me and my Toni's happiness," exclaimed Bush.
"I'm SO deLIGHted," exclaimed Blair. "My Bushiepoo is SUCH a WONderful HUNK! I NEver should have DOUbted him. Our LOVE is SO deVINE! HE'S the MOST WONderful Corrupt Bastard in the WORLD!"
Only later did it transpire that Tony was in fact speaking of his personal assistants, Colin and Justin.