Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 12 July 2010

image for The Samantha Ronson - Joan Rivers Feud Has Erupted Like An Icelandic Volcano
Joan Rivers on her way to get an estimate at her plastic surgeon's office.

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Lindsay Lohan's ex 'boyfriend' DJ Samantha Ronson has come to LiLo's defense.

Former comedian Joan Rivers, who says she's only 97, but her birth certificate says she's actually 103, stated that Lohan is nothing but a Hollywood brat who thinks that she has pretty fingernails.

Rivers pointed out that Lohan has so many freckles she looks like the world's largest corn chip.

She then went on to say that Lindsay has more freckles than all the red-headed kids in Arkansas combined.

Samantha Ronson, LiLo's ex said that Joan Rivers is so old she can remember when Lake Michigan was just a pond.

Ronson added that the rumor of Rivers having intimate relations with the Louisiana pirate Jean Lafitte were true. Sam pointed out that Joan still has the cannon ball injury on her foot to prove it.

Rivers shot back at Ronson by saying that she is just mad because she looks like a boy and is endowed with a 3-inch Jon Gosselin peter.

Ronson replied that she is proud of her 3-incher and that Joan is simply jealous because the old hag has a G-spot that looks like a dark brown ping pong ball.

Sam laughed and said that when Joan removes her bra at night her nipples end up flirting with her kneecaps.

The Samantha Ronson - Joan Rivers Feud will no doubt continue as both women have some super sized mouths on them.

In other news. The rumor that "First Mama" Michelle Obama recently got a tattoo on her lower back that says "Barry" have been disproved by Vice-President Joe Biden.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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