Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 9 July 2010

image for Lindsay Lohan's New Girlfriend Eilat Anschel To Show It All, Boobs, Butt, & Bikini Burger in PlayGuy Magazine
Eilat Anschel has said that LiLo has stolen her heart, her mind, her soul, and both her labias.

CHICAGO - Lindsay "LiLo" Lohan has just announced that the rumor is in fact true. Her brand, spanking new (no pun intended) girlfriend Eilat Anschel has agreed to appear in a six-page nude layout for PlayGuy Magazine and show it all from her tata's to her tush, to her third base.

Anschel, who is an ex-Israeli army soldier stated that she will use the $1.2 million fee to help defray the cost of her sweety's legal expenses, which so far total $28,000.

Eilat said that she has agreed to show her 'open house' because she has fallen in love with LiLo's innocence.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: What???]

Anschel says that part of the money will also be used to pay for under the table finger nail manicures which LiLo hopes to get so that she can still feel that while she is in prison she is still pretty, sexy, and desirable.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I don't think that Miss Lohan will have any trouble being desirable. In any women's prison, any female is desirable just as long as she doesn't look like Amy Winehouse, Joan Rivers, Donatella Versace, Tori Spelling, or Governor Jan Brewer.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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