UN Offers Qadaffi a Ski Chalet in Switzerland and a Bunch of Other Stuff if he Would just, Like, You know, Fucking Leave

Funny story written by mikewadestr

Friday, 5 August 2011

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Am I a Mason or a Manson, Charles is what I'm talking about.

The United Nations has offered a whole bunch of "goodies", including a Swiss Ski Chalet to Libyan dictator Muammar Qadaffi if he would just "fucking leave the country so that they can declare victory and let all the rebels fall into disarray and kill each other".

Which, in a sense, is akin to what American democracy is today.

When the UN first started bombing the crap out of Libya on March 17, 2011 they figured it would be a week or two before Qadaffi would negotiate a deal to rescind his power and leave to go to a country that is way better than Libya.

To end the military engagement, the UN has offered to give Qadaffi, not only, a Swiss Ski Chalet, but, also, unlimited trips to Disney World.

They even offered him the privilege of being Mickey Mouse, just as long as he does not fondle Minnie Mouse.

Qadaffi immediately countered the UN's offer by demanding the addition of being the starting NFL New England Patriots quarterback, displacing pro-bowler and future Hall of Famer, Tom Brady, as well as being the starting pitcher at the 2012 Major League All Star game.

He, also, demanded to be selected for the next season's Dancing with the Stars, as long as his partner has extremely large "lungs, as well as captaining the US Olympic Curling Team.

A UN Spokeswoman told the Associated Press the following:

"We have no problem with the first three of Qadaffi's request. But, honestly, Tom Brady and Major League Baseball's All Star game are so like, you know, so overrated"

"Now curling on the other hand is the marquee sport of the Olympics".

"Geez, who would want to watch Manchester United play when you can watch, curling".

"But we know, that a deal is in sight and that the rebels will be happy with it".

"Hell, when we polled the rebels we found out that 100 percent of them, actually not only watched American Idol, but voted on the winners.

"Even the rebel members of Al- Qaeda."

"Hell, how the fuck can you beat that?"

It has been rumored that Muammar Qaddafi has been practicing skiing down the "slopes" of the sand dunes of parts of the Sahara desert. It's been said by observers that he is pretty dame good at the Slalom.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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