President Barack Obama, supported by Wife Michelle, and inspired by the recent Royal Wedding and the awe in which some of the world's innocents hold the Pope, the one from BIG Italy, not LITTLE Italy in NYC, has directed his privately run auto firm, GM, to begin work on a true 'Horseless Carriage' which he hopes will convey him to a 2nd term as Emperor in Chief.
GM, fully financed by the American Taxpayer, at the expense of thousands of prior stock and bond holders, not to mention suppliers who were wiped out with a stroke of the pen by Obama ,has been falling on rough times despite glowing early reports from the administration incapable of undoing a Chinese Financial Puzzle, let alone build and market a car.
Brushing off reports regarding dismal sales of the Chevy Volt, a fossil fuel motor driven "Hybrid" with battery problems and safety issues, Obama is said to be plunging ahead with research and development of what is being called the "Messiah Mobile.'
In a city under siege, Chicagograd, where the socialists are flocking and manning the barricades even employing female snipers imported from California, the battle rages as they gear up for the 2012 election from blast proof bunkers.
The life and death battle is against rising public opinion repudiating wild eyed share the wealth schemes, and rampant control of taxpayer funds by greedy unions in exchange for votes.
Newly 'elected' Mayor Rahm Emanuel, former Ballet Dancer, Mossad Agent and Presidential Advisor speaking at his $50,000 a seat inaugural dinner, said he's 'solidly behind the President,' a thought also endorsed by former House Finance Chairman Barney Frank, (D, Gay, Ma).
Emanuel revealed he has ordered a carriage for himself, "of course it'll be smaller, as befitting my office...consider it a type of Fiscal Bris...we'll cut off a few of the obvious excesses, but it'll still indicate I am not a PUTZ to be trifled with, no matter what Blago claims!"
A recent blog from a renowned auto enthusiasts magazine said instead of moving into the future, the "Messiah Mobile" is being reversed engineered off the Zastava Koral, better known as the Yugo, by a team of expat Yugoslavian engineers who have been unemployed and on benefits in the UK since 1985.
(Ed. Note: See prior Yugo road test and reliability reports on The Spoof.com by motoring experts, Fergus McCarthy, JB & JO and racing legend Sterling Morse)
The horseless carriage, weighing in at a zoftig 4.5 tonnes, mostly due to the requirement to withstand self propelled rocket attacks and road side bombs, will be covered in gold leaf depicting the historical rise of the iconic Obama Family, which indeed is extensive and commands world wide influence and fronts several 'Tax Exempt Charitable Trusts" world wide.
The vehicle will be steered with 'fly by wire' controlled with joy sticks by an Indonesian computer science student in Jakarta and guided by a GPS program relying on both the sun, phases of the moon, tides in the Bay of Fundy, and with positional adjustments made for the idiosyncrasies caused by global warming. Al Gore is working on the default settings as we go to press.
There will be several departures however, from the original 'Pope Mobile' and the collection of the open Queen's carriages used for ceremonial occasions.
Michelle has ordered that the bullet proof bubble encasing the 'Messiah's' carriage be one way glass, with an adoring public being screened from observing the Obama's during the Nation Wide fund raising tour commencing at what used to be called "Christmas' but which has been co opted and denounced as a Radical Conservative Right Wing Racist Stunt," by the Democratic National Committee (DNC).
"Christmas was a marketing ploy to improve the bottom line for a capitalistic economy in order to make Obama look bad" was the statement issued from new DNC Chairperson Debbie Wasserman- Schultz from Miami, who may or may not have undisclosed ties to a nation wide chain of Pawn Shops operating under the "ObamaMomma's PawnOrama' name specializing in redeeming food stamps for cash and being a clearing house for fraudulent Medicare claims.
Wasserman-Shultz dismissed the latest claims that US unemployment was back at 9%, "Not for nothing," she noted, " that's just bull shit...it's really nearer 19%, and over 25% in the inner cities....freaking Media always lies...it's controlled by CONSERVATIVES, and once again they've underestimated the crisis, which we choose to label 'an opportunity.'
Coming Soon: Road Test Reports, EPA mileage estimates, Reliability Exaggerations, examination of the 'very limited' warranty, and full disclosure of Taxpayer Funded 'cash back' schemes.'
