Shocked Hillary Clinton's Comment that Bin Laden 'Now in Hog Heaven' Puts Arkansas On Mid East Pilgrimage Route!

Funny story written by Morse

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

image for Shocked Hillary Clinton's Comment that Bin Laden 'Now in Hog Heaven' Puts Arkansas On Mid East Pilgrimage Route!
First Pix of Bin Laden's Death Hat Released!

Feigning shock, horror, and a distaste for violence, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reacted after watching, in real time, the military attack which finally took out world terrorist Osama bin Laden by uttering "he's in Hog Heaven Now' as his body slipped silently into the Arabian Sea.

Pictures of Clinton, VP Biden, former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, and President Obama, the latter fresh in from the golf course still wearing his Greg Norman attire emblazoned with the now ironic SHARK logo, were all seen gathered in the White House media room where popcorn was being served as the BIG SCREEN drama unfolded.

Within hours of her comments being flashed around the world on Twitter, reports of an organized Pilgrimage to her home state, Arkansas, from Muslim countries around the world were reported to be gathering momentum.

In Pakistan local travel agencies were said to be flooded with requests from the Pakistani Intelligence Service, ISI, and other local al Qaeda sympathizers. In addition the Pakistani Cricket team was said to be in mourning, and even reportedly said they wouldn't fix any more games until Bin Laden's 'killers' were brought to justice!

In the US, Homeland Security head Janet Napolitano dismissed concerns about the influx of possible terrorists to Arkansas. "Arkansas is just as safe as our borders with Mexico, if not more so," she proclaimed while shopping for a camouflage pants suits in the Martha Stewart women's wear outdoor section labeled "short and portly."

The reports had an immediate effect on the struggling Arkansas real estate market.
Said real estate agent Tammy Fae Watson, "well, that about tears it. We were showing some signs of life at the Bill Clinton Memorial Time Share complex, especially in the Honey Moon Suites....a one bedroom super kingsize unit with a hot tub, wine storage closet, a humidor and a personalized box of Kleenex with the Presidential Seal!"

Bubba McCormick, a life long Arkansas Razorback football fan, member of the NRA, and a successful hog farmer who produces packaged chitlins, pigs feet, Hog Jowls and supplies brisket to most of the state's barbecue joints took another view.

"Hell, let the bastards come on down, I say! This will be good for business, I've been trying to find a market for my shrink wrapped Smoked Hog Rectums," as he pulled out a few from the drawer of his desk. "Lookee here son...cute little wrinkled round things with a flavour to die for if you're so inclined. With some repackaging they could pass for Calamari...I think I'm onto to something here, God knows I couldn't fool the Italians, they thought they tasted like shit, even after they added olive oil and garlic!"

Back in Washington Michelle Obama said she would be hosting a fund raiser for Barry at her usual 'Wednesday Night at the Movies with Michelle.' Most of Hollywood is expected to be there for the $500,000 a seat event where re runs of the of Bin Laden hit will be the main feature running with only two prepaid commercials from General Electric (GE) and Government Motors (GM).

Obama's favorite Rapper, Ludacris, is said to be scoring the film, and will present his newest ode to the President along with printed lyrics so the audience can chant along in the Chorus with the now familiar refrain known by all toddlers subject to progressive education around the world:

"Barack Obama Hmmmm, Hmmmm, Hmmm."

Don't mess with Barry cuz he's a bad, bad man

He'll waste no time in kechin you if you diss DA MAN

He get you in the hood when you be sleepin'

You never knew all the time he was peepin'

Wit dat eye in the sky, he ken focus on you

He's got many, and you left with but a few

When Barry come a callin, he gonna put his SEALS on you!

You ken hide in the attic, you ken hide behind da women

But where you hide ain't no relief, cause you surely goin' down to Hog Heaven

Bad Boy, Bad Boy, Watcha gonna do when Barry & the Seals Come fer you?

(Film Disclaimer: All suspects depicted in this film are presumed innocent, until judged
in a court of law)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more