Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Wednesday, 16 March 2011

image for Obama Orders USS Reagan To Nuke Fukushima To Prevent USA Contamination: ROCK CHALK JAY HAWK!

President Obama, exuding confidence that his March Madness basketball picks might win him a free holiday in Hawaii, announced today that he felt good about his choices, selecting Kansas to go all the way. Then, with his family in tow for a three day vacation in Rio, he mentioned that he had just ordered the nuclear powered carrier, the USS Reagan, to take out the "radiation filth spewing" nuclear power plants at Fukushima, Japan with the Reagan's nuclear armed missiles.

Until now, the President had been preoccupied with going over scouting reports and talking to Charles Barkley about his thoughts on who would make it to the Final Four. At last, free to get back to the pressing issues of the World, he suggested his choice to bombard these out-of-control generators was actually less daunting then making his selections.

Pausing to straighten his tie, he glanced at his WWRD (What Would Reagan Do) bracelet, and said that he had always admired the former president and thought it ironic that the carrier named for Reagan would be used to vaporize Japan. "Hopefully, if this backfires, the liberal press will blame him and not me."

Then, climbing into Air Force One, he gave the "V" sign with his fingers and yelled, "ROCK CHALK JAY HAWK!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Japan

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
46 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more