FDA Rules That Fruit Sticker Shock Not Harmful

Funny story written by Catchthisdrift

Friday, 29 August 2014

image for FDA Rules That Fruit Sticker Shock Not Harmful
Tomatoes are a fruit and are included in the FDA's ruling.

Silver Spring, MD - The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has released it's official position regarding fruit sticker-shock. The FDA has determined that no physical harm results and that any emotional repercussions are outside its official jurisdiction. The FDA's official position is that consumption of fruit identification stickers is not harmful to the public.

Fruit sticker-shock is caused when someone is eating a piece of fruit that has an identification sticker attached, and the person realizes they've already eaten part of the sticker. In the majority of cases, fruit sticker-shock occurs when the person has cut the fruit into slices and notices only part of a sticker on one of the segments. The person frantically inspects the remaining pieces, does not find the other part of the sticker, and realizes they've already consumed it.

The FDA's ruling is that the consumption of all or part of a fruit identification sticker does not result in any physical harm to the individual.

Independent studies as well as the FDA's own analysis shows that individual responses vary from essentially no reaction or sense of worry, to shear panic.

A class action lawsuit filed on behalf of people who've eaten all or part of a fruit identification sticker was thrown out of a Federal District Court on the grounds that it was stupid. The court added that the problem is easily avoidable if a person merely looks at the fruit before eating it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more