Hamid Karzai Hit With $5.5B IRS Lien on Undeclared US Employment Income!

Funny story written by Morse

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

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Karzai Shows IRS How Much He Has to His Name: Claims He's Tax Exempt!

Afghan President Hamid Karzai, listed in the top 500 of the world's richest charlatans, reacted with predictable anger today, after being hit with a huge IRS lien for not paying taxes on his US generated income!

The preliminary claim by the IRS lists undeclared income of at least $1.1M PER MONTH, on the $5.7B a month the US is sending over for Karzai's government to administer.

Since the Afghan government has no credible accounting system, and the US Treasury has no means of tracking the money it sends over in plane loads every week, IRS officials have been forced to 'estimate' Karzai's tax obligation.

Based on the standard 'finder's fee' established in the country, Karzai's cut has been estimated at '30%' off the top, not including tips, incentives, and performance clauses.

Hamid says he earns only $525 a month in his position as president, has no real estate holdings, and only has $20,000 in savings. He has 6 brothers and one sister , all of whom , except Banking Maven Mahmoud, own substantial Afghan restaurant holdings on the east coast of the US, plus one recently opened in CHICAGO, which is said to be a favorite of former White House Hit Man Rahm Emanuel who is currently running for Mayor and Capo di Tutti Capi in ObamaVille.

Since Karzai claims he owns no real estate, and all his expenses are paid for, his undisclosed income places him in the 50% tax bracket according to the 1700 page US tax code, recently under the control of Tax Cheat US Congressman Charles Wrangle, until he was forced to step down after a myriad of charges involving HIS undeclared income was finally brought to light by investigative reporters, not employed by the main stream media.

In retaliation, Karzai has lashed out at the US saying he now wants all US troops to stop firing their rifles, engaging in night patrols to disrupt the Taliban, and in general causing problems with his cash flow and cozy relations with the Taliban & Al Qaeda.

In addition to the Billions funneled into Afghanistan by the US, recent reports surfaced that Millions of Euros in shrink wrapped bags have been delivered to Karzai's Financial Agents by Iran in order to insure that Karzai continues to frustrate US efforts to bring the country under control and prevent it from becoming a haven for religious fanatics and a center for global Terrorist Attacks.

Attorneys for the Karzai brothers, Hamid's brother Mahmoud is associated with the Kabul bank, say they are not "employed" by the US government, but merely act as "Consultants" and that any money they make is being deposited into their tax free Political PAC and 501(c) Charitable Institutions used to fund religious and gender understanding promoting "Human Rights" in the country, recent stoning of the 'impure' not withstanding.

The bank is now under a cloud involving fraud, embezzlement and mismanagement, with Mahmoud being the bank's 3rd largest shareholder based on stock purchases bought by borrowing from the bank! He currently resides in a $5.5M flat in Dubai, also mortgaged from the bank, where he said he prefers to live saying, " I think my money is safer here where I can count it everyday and there's no extradition treaty with the US!"

Karzai said he will take his case to the US House of Representatives Ethics Panel for vindication, but critics say this is just a ploy to gain time.

Said one DC insider," they had the goods on Wrangle (sic) from the get go, but it took them 2 1/2 years to have a hearing, and they still haven't decided on
a penalty for Charlie."

"My guess is Karzai gets a $500 penalty, a written rebuke in his file, and is awarded a new contract with a Pre-Nup, Obama doesn't want to appear to be tough on minority owned business's right now considering the recent election!"

Unemployment in Afghanistan is now 1% and the national debt is 4% of GDP, which is leading other nations strangling in the EU to wonder, "How they do dat?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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