Convicted Libyan terrorist Abu Abas Abat Abamus Abatis Abant was released from a Scottish prison yesterday on compassionate grounds, because he suffers from dandruff.
An Al Qaeda doctor had previously pronounced that Abant had less than 3 weeks to live and this opinion had not been challenged by anyone because it had not been made public. Loony Scottish Justice Secretary Kenny McBollocks, in a flowery speech to the entire Scottish people, said:
"We are the land of the just and fair,
This terrorist's life we shall spare,
So let him go home so he may die,
With all his loved ones, bye-bye bye-bye".
Abant had been convicted by an international court of a really evil crime in which lots of innocent people died. Families of the victims expressed outrage at the decision to release him. McBollocks defended his decision, saying, to tumultuous applause from the teary-eyed majority of his easily-pleased audience:
"I know how angry some may feel,
But we must let him go home so he may heal,
For the Scots are a compassionate race
And compassion we shall show in his case."
Colonel Gadaffi, the ruler of Libya, has already promised that Abant will receive medical treatment fit for a state leader.
However, the father of three of his victims said: "A bottle of Head & Shoulders ought to have cured him."
