Death - it's final

Written by Jen

Wednesday, 11 August 2010

image for Death - it's final
Dead certain

The World Health Organisation has today sensationally revealed that death is final.

Speaking on behalf of the organisation Mr Jerome Backfysh said "Extensive research on the topic has shown that once someone is declared dead they don't tend to do much afterwards. We can only conclude from these studies that death is in fact final."

Dr Moriarty Sloane backed up his colleague "When we tell the next of kin that the patient has died we are often asked if there is any hope of any recovery. We have to make it quite clear that in nearly 100% of cases noone recovers after they are dead. It's sad but we are trained to deal with it."

Whilst this news may come as a shock to some, there was a lighter side revealed by Dr Sloane "The good news to being dead is that noone has any expectations from you any more. There are no demands on your time and you don't have to worry about economic recovery or whether you are going to lose your job. The bad news is of course that you're dead."

More on this story as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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