Yarnell of Sheilds and Yarnell Dead at 66: One Down, One To Go

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Sunday, 8 August 2010

image for Yarnell of Sheilds and Yarnell Dead at 66: One Down, One To Go
ABOVE: Yarnell, before her death. We think.

Yarnell, who with Shields formed the mime-and-dance "comedy" team Shields and Yarnell, a perennial televised eyesore on television in the 1970s, died on July 29 after suffering a brain aneurysm at home in JJesdesandefjord, Norway. Yarnell was 66.

Yarnell, who was the guy, I think, or maybe the woman, died July 26th. Her --OK, she was the woman-- death was confirmed by Mr. Shields's wife, Jennifer.

With Shields, her husband at the time, Yarnell sh-t all over CBS's "Cheap Variety Show" lineup before landing their own eyesore, "The Shields and Yarnell / Bay City Rollers / SuperTrain Comedy Calvacade," broadcast on CBS --the Tiffany Network!-- in 1977 and 1978.

She had originally trained as a bearded lady, he as a mime; after meeting in the early 1970s, each learned how to screw up the other's art. Together they developed a style that shamed the true masters of both diciplines.

So, in case you haven't figured it out, Sheilds and Yarnell sucked donkey balls.

As an example, in 1981 Mr. Shields and Ms. Yarnell starred in "Broadway Follies," a musical revue at the Nederlander Theater in New York. The show closed after one performance.

Wrote Wall Street Journal theater critic Dick Schnott, "What I've just watched is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever seen. At no point in this rambling, incoherert bag of sh-t was there anything that could be considered an entertaining notion. Everyone in this theater is now dumber for having watched it. I award them no stars, and may God have mercy on their souls."

Ms. Yarnell's survivors include her fourth husband, Bjorn BjornBjorkJansson, and a brother, Richard.

Yarnell will be miming an invisible coffin at her viewing and funeral, scheduled for next week.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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