Susan Boyle misery at blood diamond headlines exclusion

Written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 10 August 2010

image for Susan Boyle misery at blood diamond headlines exclusion
Carat and stick arrangement still possible tribunal sources say

The Hague - (Haemorrhage News): Oh, the sheer bloody unfairness of it all!

The singer is said to be feeling upset this week that lesser divas are hogging all the limelight at the Prince Charles Taylor whore crimes trial.

Although never officially a recipient of a blood diamond as such, Boyle is said to be feeling excluded from the celebrity pantheon brouhaha at The Hague.

The tribunal is hearing evidence about a 1997 incident where the gory rocks were trafficked by high class hookers - er...A-List celebs! - to fund international warmongering.

That year, of course, Boyle was still an unknown, obese, thirty-something non-entity languishing in obscurity somewhere in Scotland.

These days she's got plenty of bling in her jewellery box whose provenance might be (ha!) Liberian if the headlines were right.

A legal source close to ex-Sierra Leone dictator Charles Taylor said today retrospective diamond doshing up had not been excluded if traditional 'carat and stick' arrangements prevail.

Simon Cowell is 69.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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