Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies became even wealthier today, after their newly formed company, SuBo Loonies International, Inc., was listed on the NAZCRAP stock market. The company, originally claimed to be a 'non-profit', was listed within minutes of them taking control.
"Well, we got what we wanted in the end!" grinned a senior Board member. "I know we told our loonies that it was all for them and nobody would make any money, but they'll believe anything we tell them! If they don't, we'll just ban them!"
The shares, listed at $25 each, soared in early trading to a whopping $25.06. "Cha-ching!" said another Board member. "These should go nicely with all my Sony shares!"
The early gains quickly vanished, as the stock plunged to under a dollar. "I can't understand this at all?" grumbled a fanatic. "Surely everyone would want to own shares in our company? OK, we only have a couple of hundred fanatics, most of whom are so old they think wax discs are the future of music recording technology, but they do as we tell them! You'd be amazed how many red scarves and other useless crap they buy from us!"
Market analyst, Hima Richgit, said "We just don't know enough about the Board to trust this company. It seems to be run by a random selection of loonies, with no obvious business credentials. We don't even know what they look like!"
The shares are expected to recover slightly when the market opens again, after the loonies added a new line of Pebbles 'buttons' to their Tacky Gift Shop. "We should make a fortune!" enthused a chief fanatic. "Everyone will want a new Pebbles 'button'. If they don't buy one, we'll ban them - again!"
