Whoopi Goldberg in catfight on "The Today Show" with White House gatecrasher. Says she was only speaking Ebonics, not "f**kin' swearin at the bi**h ho"

Written by shea lo

Thursday, 5 August 2010

image for Whoopi Goldberg in catfight on "The Today Show" with White House gatecrasher. Says she was only speaking Ebonics, not "f**kin' swearin at the bi**h ho"

AMERICA NO-NEWS TODAY: White House gatecrasher Michele Salahi and Whoopi Goldberg turned their appearance on "The Today Show" into a regular obscenity-laden catfight.

In a case of Say what? - Whoopi - who may or may not have been on her regular medication - admitted she tried to get Salahi to talk about her White House gatecrashing publicity stunt.

Salahi said Whoopi decked her, pulled out her hair extensions and sat on her face.

Whoopi - whose medication was wearing off by now - says she only went up to Salahi to politely tell her she didn't know what the f**k she was talking about; there was no f**kin way she'd f**kin hit the scrawny bitch and if she wanted to meet her outside she could rearrange her face.

By now a fierce catfight had ensued, the fur was flying and co-host of the show an aging, wrinkled Kathie Lee Gifford - who will do anything to get into the limelight jumped into the fray before asking people to pray for guidance.

Interestingly Ms. Salahi's husband just happened to be nearby and caught everything on his cellphone.

Later on a re-medicated Whoopi gave her blow-by-blow recycled hash account to "The View's" brain-dead in the morning audience who are programmed to applaud on command in a Pavlovian response to the sound of crunchy potato chips.

Get a life people!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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