Written by Morse

Monday, 5 October 2009

image for Whoopi Goldbeg Confesses: Sex with Polanski and Letterman was a 'Joke-Joke'!
Whoopi Wallowing in Sex Revelations on 'The View' With Rest of Panel

Hollywood,CA/ Left Coast Entertainment Commentary - Comedian Whoopi Goldberg shocked her live TV audience on the daytime talk show, The View, with an admission of having sex with both Roman Polanski and David Letterman.

Goldberg further confounded the audience when she refused to say if the encounter happened when all three were in Letterman's hidden office , likened to a "Love Pad" by dozens of "the late night talk show host's 'personal assistants'.

While under questioning by Barbara Wa-Wa, Goldberg did admit to paying both men to have sex with her, but said, it wasn't 'Bestiality-Bestiality', it was more like a 'Joke-Joke'.

Goldberg was criticised last week for saying that Polanski's conviction for sex acts with a minor 31 years ago wasn't really 'Rape-Rape'.

Whoopi, formerly Carlyn Elaine Johnson, who closely resembles her father, Rashad "Big Johnson" Johnson, and a staunch liberal, said she had also had sex with any number of current and former Big Shot Democratic Politicians, and promised to tell all when she gets her own late night show when Letterman gets fired for 'moral and ethical' violations relating to trysts with subordinates.

Passing some pictures around to her fellow 'View' members, who gasped audibly, Whoopi said, "see....look at those little dinks...it was definitely a 'Joke-Joke' as far as I was concerned...thank God it was over quickly!"

Goldberg was linked in 1995 to liberal actor and Clinton Butt Buddy, Ted Danson, who came under fire for appearing with Whoopi at a Washington function wearing 'black face'.

"Now Ted, " she said smiling, " there was a white boy that had the goods and could really bring it! When we got it on, at least on my part, it really was some great 'Sex-Sex'!

A poll by TV execs from all networks said they doubted Whoopi would be getting her own show soon, but will probably be limited to special appearances with Howard Stern and Larry King who is noted for having almost as many heart attacks as wives.

One insider said not to rule Whoopi out..."she can be very persuasive when she wants to, especially if she 'swallows-swallows!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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