A South African farmer has come up with a novel way of deterring rhino poachers - by injecting rhino horns with the deadly poison, cyanide.
Jan VanDerGrootsloot, who runs a huge spread north of Johannesburg is sick and tired of poachers shooting endangered rhinos for the sole purpose of sawing off the horns and selling them.
To the Chinese.
For about $65,000 US a pop.
Powdered rhino horn is considered to have aphrodisiac qualities according to the Chinese, and as demand from that nation's impotent masses increases, so the rhino population becomes increasingly endangered.
Farmer VanDerGrootsloot said that he was sick and tired of perfectly healthy rhinos being slaughtered by poachers for their horns, so he's going to do something about it by injecting the horns of rhino on his land with cyanide, in the hope that it'll kill some Chinese impotentates, and thus reduce demand significantly.
"I'm doing this in the hope that some of the Chinese eunuch types drop dead sniffing their powdered rhino horn," he told Skoob News. "Or at the very least get seriously ill and shit half of their guts out or get paralysed from the eyebrows down or go deaf and blind or something. Being an Afrikaaner, I'm not a racist or anything, but the Chinese get right on my bloody tits. They're just very stupid people if they think that powdered rhino horn will rejuvenate their wilting peckers. The silly bastards should just get viagra off the internet like what I do and leave our rhino alone."
More as we get it.