BILLIONS of the world's religious believers choked on their cornflakes this morning following bombshell revelations that Islam may lift a centuries-old ban on pork.
The radical reform was announced by Islam's voice on Earth Cat Stevens and sparked fears of rioting in the somewhat conservative Muslim world.
Pork prices tripled overnight.
Speaking through Cat Stevens, Islam said: "I'm not really sure why I banned pork in the first place.
"Everyone keeps going on about how great bacon butties and sausage rolls are so I reckon 'what the hey'?"
"It's not like pigs are really that dirty. They just smell that way because they live in their own poop but chickens do too and they're halal."
Despite Islam's appeals for calm, fears are mounting that the move, could stoke existing tensions.
Dr Talkein Heade of the Pork Analysis Institute said: "It's impossible to say what the implications of a curveball like this are but I think there are two main regions of concern.
"Western Europe, especially Germany could experience a backlash what with the pressures its love for sausages already puts on pork prices.
"You know, they might feel like: 'Nein! They are now shtealing our shausages as vell as our jobs.'
"Secondly, I think China could see problems.
"Millions of Chinese peasants have largely missed out on most aspects of their country's economic growth, except for cheap sausage rolls, and they may now find themselves priced out of that market too.
"It's too early to say. The next few days wil be interesting."
Hertford-shire sausage seller Dave Nye cautiously welcomed the addition of 1.2 billion potential customers but warned: "We're in for an unpredictable ride.
"Bangers are already pretty pricey and if costs rise too fast, I may have to go Linda McCartney."
