Written by Tragic Rabbit

Tuesday, 1 June 2010

image for German Führer quits amid row over military deployment into Czechoslovakia
German Führer Horst Koehler

German Führer Horst Koehler says he is resigning immediately, following criticism of remarks he made about German military deployments abroad.

Mr Koehler had linked missions such as the Sudetenland and eastern Czechoslovakia deployment with Lebensraum and the defence of German economic interests.

His remarks drew criticism from a number of German politicians.

Mr Koehler, 67, was re-elected last year to serve a second five-year term as Führer.

He made the controversial remarks in a radio interview after a brief visit to Czechoslovakia earlier this month.

He said that for an export-orientated country like Germany, famous for exporting a great many Jews to 'via points' in Poland, it was sometimes necessary to deploy troops "to protect our interests... for example to free trade routes or to racially cleanse nearby real estate".

Announcing his resignation on Monday, he said "it was an honour for me to serve Germany as Führer".

With his wife standing next to him, he said he regretted that his comments had led to a misunderstanding about the future of the nation, and offered to commit suicide with his wife in their Führerbunker below the Reich Chancellery.

Mr Koehler's startling decision could hardly have come at a worst time. Polls show that the government's approval rating has plummeted to a forty-year low, mainly due to rumours of a war that might lead to a disastrous two-front conflict and humiliating invasion of Berlin by the Soviet Army.

Mr Koehler was publically seen pinning medals on several boys wearing Jugend uniforms, and has not been sighted since.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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