Texas Legislature Votes to Outsource Border Security

Funny story written by emccorm

Wednesday, 12 May 2010

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AUSTIN, TX -- Texas Governor Rick Perry, is expected to sign the bill voted on by the legislature to outsource border security when it reaches his desk this week. In the first of its kind in the nation, the controversial bill is expected to be a double win for the state.

According to the governor's spokesman, since taking office, Gov. Perry has provided strategic direction and encouraged a significant state investment in initiatives that protect Texans. Embracing priorities that comprehensively address the state's security needs, he has focused resources on certain key areas including border security, public safety, victims' rights, law enforcement and criminal justice.

As part of his promise, late last year Governor Perry deployed special teams of Texas Rangers to the Texas-Mexico border to deal with increasing violence because the federal government has failed to address growing problems there. However, this has not stemmed the problem which has only gotten bigger.

So with the help of former President Bush as mediator, himself a Texas resident, last month negotiations were held in Beijing with Chinese officials to trade security troops for Texas oil leases. The agreement would provide for 18,000 troops armed with only batons and tasers to be stationed on the Texas border with Mexico. The oil leases will provide badly needed oil for China without tapping into the dwindling state treasury. The agreement calls for China to pay for the logistical costs including housing for their forces.

The added personal will also bolster the Texas economy, by providing for construction, hospitality and infra structure jobs to support the stationing of the mercenary force.

The first troops are expected to arrive in Port Arthur about sixty days after bill becomes law. The Governor believes this legislation finally means a secure border for Texans and will benefit of the rest of the country.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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