Pope should be fired first in latest Vatican edict that clergy who concealed abuse should be dismissed

Funny story written by shea lo

Sunday, 11 April 2010

image for Pope should be fired first in latest Vatican edict that clergy who concealed abuse should be dismissed

THE VATICAN: The powerful head of Italy's bishops has agreed that anybody in the Church who was responsible for mishandling, minimizing or attempting to cover-up the sexual abuse of children should be dismissed.

"Let's start with the Pope", said members of a victims abuse group that for decades was vilified as "petty gossips" and heretics intent on "bringing down the universal Church".

Rational Catholics are now openly questioning the founding of the Roman Catholic Church saying it is nothing but an "extension of the wicked and cruel Roman Empire". A spokesperson for the group said:

"Early Christians - the believing, caring followers of the teachings of the True Christ were cast aside by the Roman Emperor who then hijacked Christ's teachings and twisted it into a justification for the continuation of the perverse Roman Empire.

"Suddenly Jesus was but an insignificant blond man on a Cross and the Pope (the Roman Emperor) injected himself as God on Earth. Catholics today who foolishly worry more about praying for the Pope and show absolutely no empathy for its victims are nothing but worshipers of the wicked, hedonistic Roman Empire. The Roman Empire was the true killer of Christ. It had absolutely no connection with any of the goodness and kindness that Jesus Christ exemplified.

"The ostentatious, glittering with gold Roman Catholic Church created in the name of the simple barefoot Jesus was the most cunningly handled PR operation of the day"

As more intelligent, empathetic, and just Catholics - particularly women - stop being brain-washed by guilt and start openly questioning the Church's non-existent moral authority - the Vatican is quickly back-pedaling and pretending to really care.

The spokesperson affirmed: "The Vatican has functioned as an old-boys frat club - a cult providing cover for pederasts. Cardinals and bishops spend move time dressing up in colorful frocks and gee-gaws and less time examining their consciences.

"For too long they have messed with worshiper's heads - denying salvation in the oldest of guilt tricks. Who do they answer to? The time has come for all honest Catholics to do some soul-searching; to break through the curtain of lies and deception peddled by these narcissists. Let's retake the teachings of the real Christ and put the Roman Empire back where it belongs .... on the funeral pyre of history ".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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