Following a landmark Supreme Court ruling, the APA (Anecdotal Protection Agency) has declared that satire is a literary pollutant, and will introduce satirical quotas for all authors and large publishers.
The presenter of the popular satirical television show "Jest a Minute" who regularly publishes Spoof articles has urged all Spoof authors to recycle old articles, jokes and snippets to reduce literary pollution and the amount of hot air which is adding to global warming. "If we don't act right away, who knows what future generations will think of us" he told a Spoof reporter, who declined to be named for personal reasons.
Prolific Spoof author Wunceagain said "I've been leading the way - I've published over 9,000 articles, snippets and jokes, and I've only used three main themes. Nobody seems to have spotted that fact, which is borne out by the massive total of 1,373 points I've accumulated to date. If I can do it, all the other old hacks can too".
The editor of the London-based Private Eye has said in a leading article "We welcome this ruling. Every month our writers have to scratch their heads to think of subjects for new articles. It's no wonder we're all going bald. It's never been more true that 'the old ones are the best', and we're going to work strictly on that basis from now on. We've got reams of oldies but goldies in our archives, which we've been quietly reworking to provide new material, but now we can come out and publicly say what we've been up to all along".
The founder of the encyclopedic satirical website Wackipedia said today "Other web-sites and satirical journals can take a leaf out of our book. We've never published anything original, indeed it's our prime rule, that all our articles must be based on existing sources. Where we lead, others will follow".
The APA commandant Josef Gobbles said at a 5 a.m. press conference earlier today "Ve know who zeese peeples are vot produce zis new stuff. It's chust nott gut enuf zat zey hide behind zer constitooshun. Frei speech? Vot's frei, zats vot I vont to know! Frei to pollute zer literary atmusfeere viz zeir obseen rrrrubbisch? Ve vill check evrytink vot's published vrom now on. Evrytink I - I mean ve - don't recognize vill be siezed ant burnt - I mean berried, and zer autors vill be hoomiliated in publik. Zer vill be a quota of ten items per autor per year from now on. Der rrrrubbisch journals and vebsites like Spoof hat better votch out. Ve haf alreddy infiltrated zese subversive organizashuns. VE know who YOO are, but YOO don't know who VE are!"
Dr. Gobbles is 102.