Bangkok Man 'Scared Out Of His Wits' By Bus Conductor

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 27 March 2010


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image for Bangkok Man 'Scared Out Of His Wits' By Bus Conductor
Probably the conductor's missing teeth

A passenger on a Bangkok bus was today scared almost shitless by the bus conductor whose gaping smile revealed a sight frightening enough to scare even Vincent Price - a mouth totally devoid of teeth.

The passenger - me - was travelling on the number 80 Microbus (cheap) which travels from Sanam Luang to Bangkhae in the capital. He was on his way to feed his friend's three cats, after his friend had gone to Hong Kong for a short break.

Having boarded at the Pata department store in Pinklao, the man watched as another passenger - an old hag dressed in rags, and laden down with shopping - got on at Makro, immediately striking up a conversation with the bus driver.

The conductor took the fares from new passengers and then made his way to the front of the vehicle, whereupon he, himself, joined the pair in their loud and jocular discussion.

At one point, the driver said something 'extremely funny', and the threesome laughed heartily.

It was then that the bus conductor turned and revealed his horrific secret - his mouth contained no teeth of any description whatsoever!

Several passengers reeled away from the horror, and some were so appalled, that they alighted at the very next stop. Others gave looks of disgust in the general direction of the toothless oaf. I, myslef, reasoned that, I had paid my fare, and would put up with just about anything to get to my destination without having to fork out another 6.50 Baht (about 13 pence), although I was at the limits of my endurance.

Later, the passenger - me - fed the cats and returned home on one of the regular air-conditioned buses, on which ALL conductors are fitted with a full set of teeth.

One problem on this service, however, is that, sometimes, the conductors are women, as was the case here, and the poor girl on this particular bus was endowed with tits the size of fried eggs.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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