Vampire obsession creates moonlight savings time

Funny story written by Wumf

Sunday, 14 March 2010

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People demand Moonlight Savings Time

In a radical change of priorities, spurred on by a fascination with vampires and all things dark, world citizens have called for moonlight savings time. According to pollsters, people are demanding that daylight savings time be rescinded and replaced with as much darkness as possible.

"Daylight is way too bright", reports spokesman for the DIM (Darkness is Marvelous) Association. We are tired of living in the light and buying sunglasses to shield our eyes, not to mention expensive sunscreen to protect our extremely pale, easy to burn skin. Besides, living in darkness is much easier for most people, especially nowadays, with all the financial problems, substance abuse, pollution, and crime."

When asked to comment, Stephanie Meyer, author of the highly successful vampire book series, Twilight, stated that she thinks moonlight savings time is an idea whose time has come. "We could all use more darkness in our lives. I for one, have benefited from sleeping during the day and staying up all night writing my famous books."

In the United States, senators from Nevada are sponsoring the moonlight savings time bill in an effort to promote the faltering Las Vegas tourist industry. "Darkness is our middle name," says Senator Darth Vader, "We know how to capitalize on darkness here in sin city and we want to help the rest of the country benefit from our knowledge and expertise."

The bill is supposed to come up for a vote in the senate this week at a special midnight session.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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