6 Hours longer days this Christmas

Funny story written by Mark Merton

Friday, 4 December 2009

image for 6 Hours longer days this Christmas
More time for shopping

People who have not enough time for Christmas shopping will be allowed to use a 30 hours day instead of the usual 24 hours day during the festive season. Greenwich Observatory Daylight Committee held meetings with the representatives of major superstores in London and prepared a set of proposals for the Government to consider for a speedy enactment in order to release more time for shoppers this Christmas.

Mandy, 26 of Reading, who works in the City was overjoyed by the news of longer days and said: "Whoever came up with this idea must be a genius. Yes, this is exactly what we need. Give me some more time and I'll be able to do my shopping."

But Ramon, 29 of Hackney, who runs a beauty salon in Ealing Broadway was not so supportive of longer days:

"This would mean only one thing. I will have to work longer and yet again I won't have enough time for a decent shopping. Pity they couldn't come up with a better idea like a few days when the shops will remain open and everything else will be shut. This would have solved the problem."

A spokesman for the Church of England said that they received the news with caution. They also said that they were in touch with Greenwich Observatory requesting a change of wording in their proposal. The Church would like to see "hoping" inserted in the phrase "… to make more time for shopping". The spokesman, Reverend Thomas, the Vicar of Knightsbridge said:

"Our stance would be on the side of "hoping" as opposed to "shopping". But we realize also that the modern approach to life is favouring shopping over hoping. We are therefore asking the Daylight Committee to alter their phrase to "… to make more time for shopping and hoping".
Leroy, 25 of Lewisham, said that it would be absurd to make time for hoping:

"We want shopping, mate, not hoping. We gave up hoping long time ago. Tell this to your Church people. They can hope if they like. But we are for shopping, full stop. My thanks to Greenwich."

The longer days will start on 19 December and the daytime will go back to normal on 26 December.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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