DEA smash massive international piñata

Funny story written by Thinctanc

Wednesday, 3 March 2010

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"We were up to All Sorts," admits Mafia informer.

The US Drug Enforcement Administration were last night celebrating smashing a massive piñata that stretched from the coast of Venezuela to mainland Europe and was thought to have involved the Colombian Cartels and the Sicilian Mafia.

Spanish coast guards discovered a huge pair of papier mache donkey hooves near the Strait of Gibraltar almost two years ago. A brief report was filed and forgotten about until a several sightings emerged from a yacht race in the Atlantic of a massive donkey tail near Saint Lucia.

"We'd never seen anything like this on such a scale," said Extra-Special Agent Juan Wundaz of the 3,700 mile long model donkey. "And the attention to detail that these gangs had put into this was impressive. They had multi-coloured twists of crepe paper even over the top parts that aren't visible from the ground."

The structure was thought to be a hiding place for millions of tons of sweets that the top crime bosses would use to reward their underlings for being especially naughty, but the DEA didn't wait to find out and risk the massive haul disappearing.

Calling upon help from the US military, the piñata was smashed by 15 B-52s fitted with giant hammers.

And the operation has certainly taken it's toll upon the mobsters. According to undercover sources, the Mafia in New York only have a few fizzy cola bottles left and some chocolate white mice, and these are all out of date and stuck right in the corners of the bag.

But Wundaz knows that the war is far from over. "We hit these guys bad, but we know others will quickly fill the gap. We're already hearing rumours of the Chinese Triads hooking up with Moscow street gangs to carve out a huge pumpkin on the Mongolian border."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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