Belfast - (Ballybollox): Hillary Clinton's presence in Stormont talks is guaranteed to stir up the kind of irrational venom that could unite all parties into a negotiqated Piss Process consensus, according to Blarney Stone sources.
Unofficially Clinton, 69, has blamed toyboy shagger Iris Robinson for the collapse of Northern Ireland's power sharing scam
But behind the scenes Clinton knows her husband's chicanery viz the 1998 Good Friday Agreement needs at least another 100 years of cover-ups, subterfuge and downright denial to save the US Democratic Party's ass.
The Agreement concealed Clinton's five year rampage through underage felonies during his Rhodes scholarship years in Oxford.
Although not as sordid or criminal as George W Bush's filthy escapades on Hampstead Heath with God's Banker Roberto Calvi the prospect of squalid details emerging in some unsuspecting Irish - or English - memoir remains critical.
"Besides, interferring in Irish business needs a new American champion," Shergar Times columnist Paddy O'Bollox said today.
"The death of Teddy Kennedy has left a chasm of talent. Can Hillary really take up that mantle, hic...?"
