Farmer Association backs Russian asteroid project with biofuels initiative

Funny story written by Helen Tarnation

Wednesday, 30 December 2009

image for Farmer Association backs Russian asteroid project with biofuels initiative
Corn could save the entire planet - 'Corny' initiative launched

The Universal Crop Fuel Farmer Association (UCFFA) has announced support for Russia's project to divert an asteroid from a collision-course with Earth.

'When we heard that Russia would not use nuclear power to negate the threat, we knew instantly that biofuels would be the answer', said Stewart Knopston, head of the group.

'We can supply biogas, biodiesel, biofuel, bioethanol, biobutanol and anything else needed to save our planet', he said.

'Sure, we need enormous tax subsidies to make our biosolutions anywhere close to be worth the money, but when it comes to saving our planet, and with bio-alcohol refineries around the world nearing bankruptcy, the money that governments extort from people who work for a living will finally pay off', he added.

Al Gore, who opposes anything to save the planet that might involve CO2, a toxic waste emitted by industrial chemical processes, declined to be interviewed.

'Al is suffering from triple migraines', said his publicist, Morton Markham. 'The slightest thought about CO2 gives him fits. We're lucky we can keep him breathing at all.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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