Beards. The mere mention of the word sends shivers down the tender spines of every human baby from Albania to Zimbabwe.
The sheer terror with which facial hair creates in the minds and souls of little babies cannot be fathomed - unless you are a baby.
The banning of hirsute men from looking at or engaging in polite conversation with children under the age of 5 has been welcomed by babies all across the globe.
"A-goo-goo-aga-ga-goooooo", dribbled the Lindbergh Baby in excitement - which roughly translates as:
"I am a happy baby now that those hairy bastards are banished"
"No more shall I have to put up with those interfering sheep-shaggers, 3 wise men and my earthly father Joseph's incessant nagging about getting a job", said the baby Jesus as he reclined in his crib over the festive season.
When the baby Jesus gets older he will not grow a beard. His father will follow suit. The Holy Spirit has refused to disclose his/her/it's plans.
No more shall a baby have to cry at the sight of these lumbering beasts smiling and giggling playfully at them with bits of food and suchlike stuck in their hairy faces.
Children's Movies starring Robin Williams in his 'hairy period' will be re-edited to remove him from them.
Captain Birdseye will no longer be the face of Fish Fingers.
A baby sucking a lollipop will no longer have to take it from its mouth and toss it on the ground in order to attract the attention of a non-bearded parent (generally female).
The ban comes into effect at 12 midnight, January 1st.
And beardy-weirdy caught meddling with a baby will be shaved. Further offenses punishable by having oestrogen injections to cause permanent hair reduction.
