Jordanian terrorist and beard fanatic Abu Qatada lost his appeal against deportation. In a unanimous decision, five Law Lords lambasted the length of the radical cleric's beard, saying that there was simply no room in the country for beards of that length.
Qatada's beard, which stretches from London to Birmingham, has been used to conceal a bomb-making factory, three madrassas (Islamic schools) and a mosque. Indeed, the beard is believed to be responsible for more than one pile up on the M1, and the radical cleric is now attended by fifty servants who have to carry his beard to prevent him tripping over it.
Qatada had argued that beard growth is discouraged in Jordan, where the king and most of his subjects are clean-shaven, and that he would be forced to shave it off, which amounts to torture. However, Lord Phillips of Worth Matravers, sitting with Lords Hoffmann, Hope, Brown and Mance, said that "uncontrolled beard growth has no place in a modern society".
The House of Lords also dismissed appeals by five other bearded radicals, who were not in court at the time due to "limited space". All six terrorists are considering appealing to the European Court. BBC legal analyst Joshua Beefburger said that a special court will be built in the Hague to accommodate each appellant and his beard.
