Mass-murdering Nazi Adolf Hitler today suffered a horrific attack in the German capital of Berlin, when a woman leapt out and tapped him on the shoulder and said: 'You're a mass-murdering Nazi monster.'
Hitler, an obvious Christian and non-violent dogooder that helps old ladies across the road - unless they're Jewish or Protestant ones, or British or Soviet or Greek or Russian ones, then he machine-guns them to death before midnight mass - had this to say about the disgraceful attack. 'Piss off and give me your money, while I organise child abuse on a worldwide scale and dress up as a transvestite, and spread lies about Jesus being some sort of god, when he was a married man that had a drink problem.'
Some have questioned the very point of a Nazi in uniform in Berlin trying to tell the rest of the world what they should or shouldn't be doing, and then getting paid millions by the world's poorest people to do both, but others simply could not give a solitary f*** about a Nazi that millions of British, American, Russian, Greek, Canadian, Australian and New Zealand people died to get rid of - only to see another one Pope up in Rome.
'I was only obeying orders', Hitler said, 'and my orders just happen to be to despise women and allow homosexual deviants to hang around boys across the world and actually make a profit out of it all. I don't think Jesus would approve of me.'
The Anti-Christ was eating a 14-course Christmas dinner today, before rescinding another ex-communication for another mass-murdering Nazi. Himself.